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Girl B

The Backbone

Girl B

〰️

Girl B 〰️

 
 

Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun

She’s So Unusual

Part B

 

My aunt is falling out of the sky for the second time, her spindly bald head waiting to be pecked apart by all of us, as she vomits her own suffering. She is shrinking into the corner, using the kitchen fridge and the shelves full of food we will eat on the holiday she is not coming on. She is looking up at us sitting on the kitchen counter. As we meet her gaze, she puts one foot, and then the other, into the lowest freezer door. Her torso follows, her back cambers. She is squashed like a bruised aubergine. She squints backwards, draws her chin to her chest, and pulls the draw shut.

 

29 November 2019

The Hurst, Shropshire

 
 

Endless

 

I am telling a story

but it has no beginning

no middle and no end.

 

A story told by body.

A tale traced through

the edges of time

 

with flesh and seed

and sex and greed.

A man-peach blossom

 

looping repeatedly,

lurking globular lips,

snapping trapping stems.

 

He waits for a fissure in

her frame to crack into,

screw his plummy flesh.

 

But with divine-horror

you bloom in her and you

are the sweet nectar of

 

a crisp fruit. Fecund and

shameless and innocent

living in the axis of time.

 

I will keep telling this story

because it has no beginning

no middle and no end.

 

(outside) Valencia, Spain

25 May 2023

 
 
 

Dialogue from Girl B

extract from a play entitled trauma

 

I want to be small.

I want to regain

the essence of me

before the fall.

 

I close my eyes.

it’s all I can see.

I want to be confined.

I want to be free.

But terror suffocates me.

 

I want to close my eyes,

disappear. I want to

obliterate the fear.

 

One moment’s work

setting into motion

a lifetime of

generational hurt.

 

But a second’s stab

to construct a fall.

Debase & debunk all

I see, the base

mythology of me.

 

            - I didn’t want to taste the apple

 

It was thrust on me

mouth prized apart

by pressures

unrestrained to free

jaws sticking

bitter fruit forced

to forked tongue.

 

I had to eat.

and now I cannot speak.

8 July 2017

Tooting, London